and so we fight again. why is it so god damn hard to view me as a person with integrity and a self worthy of respect as well? So I cut my wrists because it's the only thing that stops me from killing you. and while crying you often see the world a bit more blurred and I look down and realise the world is awful. and I cut stars and stripes in my thighs hoping that the fat will somehow evaporate through the lines but when it's only blood that occurs I realise that the world will always be this awful and I'll always look exactly like this.

And I've seen the way you look at me when you think I'm done sneaking glimpses. It's not a loving way.