Sometimes something makes me hope. But if there's one thing in this world I'm afraid of, it's hope. It elevates my thoughts, makes me happy for a while. Just until I realise my hopes won't be fulfilled. That's when I fall down.

So far no one's been there to keep me up. No one's been there to keep me happy. I could try and do it myself, but I lack the ability to make anyone happy. Apparently. So how can I stay glad and satisfied just being me? But it's an evil circle. Unhappy people are also unattractive. So am I. Apparently. So I suppose I will just stay me. And stay unhappy.

Happiness only reveil itself in glimpses until you find the right one. That's the reason to keep looking. If happiness would show up just whenever something was slightly good, there would be no reason to keep on searching for the ultimate. But how does one know when he's found the best that there is? How does one know when to stop looking? And is it ever alright to give up?