I remember streaks of sunshine and tiny pieces of dust dancing in the morning light. You had your legs lying dead on mine in the bed and the duvet had fallen to the ground. It was as if the sun was casting streaks of magic inside our little room and If I moved or blinked or just took a breath I would spoil the moment. You woke me up with a grunt and a move and I realised how exceptionally fucking lucky I was. There was absolutely nothing that could spoil my happiness, apart from of course when I finally dared to open my eyes completely and realised that you were never in my bed. I didn't cry, of course not, tears were nothing but a waste of body water, but it did make me sad.
I used to look at you, secretly of course, out of the corner of my mind. You were not supposed to notice, but sometimes you did, and if often surprised me that you didn't understand what it all meant. I could stare at you for hours and you wouldn't give a hint that you knew what I mean. Not one clue.

I hope one day you will think back at me and remember me for something good.